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I posted the rough draft and professor wanted make it more lively, for example “

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I posted the rough draft and professor wanted make it more lively, for example
“Dhruv sat in a cafe on a cloudy winter’s day and poured sugar into a steaming cup of tea. But his mind was elsewhere. A graduate student, he thought about the pressure of becoming an industrial and system engineer. Would he pass his demanding courses? Could he please his immigrant parents? Most of all, how would cope with his mounting student debt?
Dhruv’s challenges typify…”
Rewrite it to make it look something like this, but don’t use this exact example. Use the same sources and information juts change the tone little and make it lively. I have attached the rough draft in the attachments.

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